Positive Attitude

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts,

events and outcomes.  It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.

~ Wade Boggs ~

Affirmative Reminders Article

     In the blog post about Hot Buttons, I referenced Affirmative Reminders.  Here is an article about Affirmative Reminders and how we can use them to improve our behavior and our attitudes.

Psychologically Speaking: Affirmative Reminders

By Dr. Victor Pendleton

Every day we are bombarded by symbols and images designed to influence our behavior; to get us to behave in a certain manner. Some examples are brand names, labels, logos, and certain music. There are smart people who get paid a lot of money to influence our purchasing behavior. They get paid well because their work is effective and they know how to make us buy their products! This story focuses on one of the methods used by these craftsmen, and how we might use it to develop personal behavior of our own. An Affirmative Reminder is a technique designed to control thinking through words and images. An affirmative reminder may be a picture, a symbol, a sentence, or a paragraph that we see or repeat regularly. The American flag is a symbol whose purpose is to remind us of our patriotism. The cross is used to remind us of our faith. Every day we see these symbols scattered throughout our environment. In a similar manner, affirmative reminders are personally meaningful words or images that we use to remind ourselves of the behavior that we aspire to. We may use affirmative reminders to influence personal behavior of all kinds and to increase studying, healthy eating, generosity, and understanding.

People have asked me, "Isn't the use of affirmative reminders equal to brainwashing yourself?" My answer is always yes.  In my view, there isn't anything wrong with brainwashing yourself as long as you are making a conscious choice of exactly how you want to influence your brain. Is there anything wrong with brainwashing yourself to be kind, understanding, or conscientious? I don't think so. The problem most of us have is being brainwashed by other people, and therefore behaving in the manner that they choose.

Are you the person you want to be? Do you behave the way you want to behave? Do you treat others the way you would like to treat them? Most of us have areas of personal behavior that we would like to change. Affirmative reminders can help us develop the behavior we desire.

Design your personal symbol. What images will you choose? Choose images that are personally meaningful so that every time you look at it you are reminded of the powerful meaning. Put this symbol in a place where you will be sure to see it throughout the day, every day. Design a personal slogan or a mission statement and say it to yourself every day, like you used to say the Pledge of Allegiance every morning at school. For those more musically inclined, write your own song and sing it to yourself throughout the day, every day.

Affirmative reminders are methods that people design to help them stay focused on their goals. By choosing personally meaningful symbols and images we can work toward becoming the people we really want to be, instead of going through life singing someone else's song.

Memorial Day

Memorial Day isn't just about honoring veterans,

it's honoring those who lost their lives.

Veterans had the fortune of coming home  For us,

that's a reminder of when we come home we

still have the responsibility to serve.  It's

a continuation of service that honors our country

and those who fell defending it.
~ Pete Hegseth ~

Mental Attitude

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude

from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help

the man with the wrong mental attitude.

~ Thomas Jefferson ~

Change It

If you don't like something, change it.

If you can't change it, change your attitude.

~ Maya Angelou ~

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Maya Angelou
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mayaangelo101310.html?src=t_attitude

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Maya Angelou
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mayaangelo101310.html?src=t_attitude

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Maya Angelou
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mayaangelo101310.html?src=t_attitude

Hot Buttons

     What are your hot buttons?  You know, those words, events, or circumstances that when they are uttered or occur, trigger strong negative emotions in you.  For me, particularly when I was driving to work, it was bad drivers.  Being cut-off, tailgated, or getting stuck behind a slow-poke could really get my blood boiling.  Often, by the time I got to work, I would be in a sour mood and my day was just beginning.  The ironic thing was that these bad drivers, who started my day off so badly, had no idea, nor cared what they had done to me.  It was me who was really doing it to me by letting their actions influence my mood.

     Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to re-wire our brains to reduce the severity or even eliminate our hot buttons?  Well there is one way that I found that really helped me.  I wrote on a 3x5 card the following words:  “I smile at bad drivers and wish them a nice day”.  Doesn’t that sound stupid?  What could writing those words on a card possibly do to help me with my particular hot button?  Well, I used those words to change my attitude about bad drivers.

      Each day, I would review the words on that card about 3-5 times a day.  I would close my eyes and picture myself being confronted by a bad driver and instead of getting angry, I would visualize myself smiling at a bad driver and wishing them a nice day.  I did this for about a month.  Gradually, as I would be driving to work, and I was confronted with a bad driver, those words on that card would come to mind.  Instead of the usual knee-jerk anger that I would have normally displayed, I found myself smiling and wishing the driver a nice day.  I was changing an attitude that I had for many years.  I soon found that I was arriving at work in a happier mood and was better able to tackle the day’s challenges.

    What I had learned was the power of what are called affirmative reminders.  These are words or phrases that you write on 3x5 cards to assist in displacing an attitude about anything that you might want to improve or change.  We are not born with attitudes.  We form them and then they form us.  The hard part is changing an attitude that we may have had for most of our lives.  Affirmative reminders are one technique that can be used to give us more positive attitudes.  I will give additional guidance on using affirmative reminders in an upcoming post, but I wanted to whet your appetite about attitudes, how they influence our hot buttons, and how, if we want, we CAN change our attitudes to make them more positive. 

     Did bad drivers get off the roads after I wrote and visualized my affirmative reminder?  Hardly!   But, they no longer control my emotions like they once did.  A hot button could no longer be pushed and the anger and stress that was once caused when that button was pushed had been muted.  Have a nice day!

Doubt

The biggest enemy is doubt.

If you don't believe in what you are doing,

you aren't going to make it.

~ Philippe Kahn ~

Your Uniqueness

If you truly expect to realize your dreams,

abandon the need for blanket approval.

If conforming to everyone else's expectations

is the number one goal, you have sacrificed your

uniqueness and, therefore, your excellence.

~ Don Ward ~

Shots not Taken

You miss 100 percent

of the shots you never take.

~ Wayne Gretzky ~

Wasting Time

We say we waste time, but that

is impossible.  We waste ourselves.

~ Alice Bloch ~

Have a Dream?

If you have a dream,

give it a chance to happen.

~ Rich Devos ~

Wishing vs Planning

It takes as much energy to wish

as it does to plan.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

Creating a Gap

We all love big ideas. 

If an organization lacks enthusiasm,

if the people are bored, it's time for a

big idea. The moment you set a new goal, 

you create a gap between where you are

and where you really want to be. 

The urge to close that gap generates, 

tension, energy, enthusiasm, purpose and drive. 

~ Harry Gray ~

Goals Give Purpose

Goals give purpose.

Purpose gives faith.  Faith gives courage.

Courage gives enthusiasm.  Enthusiasm gives energy.

Energy gives life.  Life lifts you over the bar.

~ Bob Richards, Pole Vaulter ~

Setting Goals

     Do you have any goals?  The Harvard Business Review once estimated that only 3% of the population has set goals.  To continually grow mentally and to keep yourself motivated and happy, you must be constantly setting new goals to achieve.  How many of you have sat down and written out specific goals that you want to achieve?  Goals provide energy, direction, and purpose in life.  Goals keep you from procrastinating and prevent boredom.  Goals are like a rudder on a ship.  They keep you moving in the direction you want even when outside forces try to force you to change course.

     Many years ago, a boy by the name of John Goddard sat down on a rainy Sunday afternoon and wrote down 127 goals that he wanted to achieve in his lifetime.  His goals included major rivers in the world that he wanted to explore, mountains he wanted to climb, countries he wanted to visit, things he wanted to learn how to do (e.g., learn to water and snow ski, run a mile in 5 minutes, perform 200 sit ups), and visit the moon.   Don't let the fact that a goal seems unattainable at the moment stop you from writing it down as a goal.  John Goddard wrote down that he wanted to visit China.  He did so at a time when China was a closed society and nobody could visit China.  Now tours to China take place all the time.  It was the same thing with his goal of visiting the moon.  When he wrote down this goal, men had not walked on the moon.  Well, times have sure changed.  Now there are people signing up to go to Mars!  So think big when you write down your goals and have goals in all aspects of your life, not just scholastic or career goals (e.g., family, social, recreational, spiritual, financial).

      John Goddard became an anthropologist and during his lifetime, he achieved 106 of his original 127 goals plus many more goals that he had added to his updated goal list.  He climbed 12 of the world's highest mountains, conducted 14 major expeditions into remote regions, traversed 15 of the world's most treacherous rivers, visited 118 countries, studied 250 primitive tribes, and traversed in excess of one million miles during his adventurous life.

     After writing down your goals, pick a couple that you want to immediately begin to achieve.  Review your goals regularly and update them as you think of more goals you would like to achieve.  This activity will keep you motivated and give you purpose throughout your lifetime.

     Setting goals can be an exciting activity.  Try it!

     

     

    

    

Mothers

A mother is the truest friend we have,

when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us;

when adversity takes the place of prosperity;

when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us,

still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts

and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness,

and cause peace to return to our hearts.

~ Washington Irving ~

Happy Mother's Day

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

Washington Irving

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

Washington Irving

Hope

Your opponents would love you to believe that it is hopeless,

that you have no power, that there is no reason to act,

that you can't win.  Hope is a gift you don't have to surrender,

a power you don't have to throw away.

~ Rebecca Solnit ~

Feel Happy?

If you feel happy, tell your face.

~ Steve Potter ~

Pursue Excellence

If you demand perfection of yourself,

you'll seldom achieve it.  Fear of making

a mistake is the biggest single cause of making one.

Instead of pushing for perfection, relax and pursue excellence.

~ Bud Winter, Track Coach ~

The Horse

I discovered that the horse is life itself,

a metaphor but also an example of

life's mystery and unpredictability,

of life's generosity and beauty, a worthy object

of repeated and ever changing contemplation.

~ Jane Smiley ~

It's Possible

You're damn right it's possible.

If you dreamed it up, it's possible.

You're the only person who can say,

"It's impossible."

~ Carlo Menta ~

Doers of the World

Critics hang around and wait for others to make mistakes.

But the real doers of the world have no time for criticizing others.

They're too busy doing, making mistakes, improving, making progress.

~ Dr. Wayne Dyer ~

Buttprints

You can't make footprints

in the sands of time if you are sitting

 on your butt.  And who wants to make

buttprints in the sands of time?

~ Bob Moawad ~

Special Moment

To every person there comes that special moment when he is tapped

 on the shoulder to do a very special thing unique to him.  What a tragedy if that

moment finds him unprepared for the work that would be his finest hour.

~ Winston Churchill ~